{"id":758,"date":"2023-08-15T09:25:51","date_gmt":"2023-08-15T09:25:51","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/d2fpc.com\/?p=758"},"modified":"2023-08-28T16:33:13","modified_gmt":"2023-08-28T20:33:13","slug":"be-on-time","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/d2fpc.com\/?p=758","title":{"rendered":"Be On Time"},"content":{"rendered":"
\"Not
Not rushing to get there… priceless<\/em><\/figcaption><\/figure>\n

My friend Volk spent years operating on EST: Elise Standard Time. Her close friends and family knew that meant she would always be 15 minutes late. \u201cI didn\u2019t like it, but I didn\u2019t know how to fix it,\u201d says Volk, a massage therapist in Seattle. Until one day she did: She started leaving home at least 30 minutes before she needed to and realized that not being in a hurry was \u201ctotally awesome.\u201d<\/p>\n

Christi, a mom of five in Montgomery, Ala., describes herself as a recovering chronically late person. Being on time felt like \u201cclimbing Mount Everest,\u201d she says. Something would inevitably pop up as she was on her way out the door, and eventually \u201cit was expected of our family that we would arrive after the start time of any designated activity.\u201d<\/p>\n

Garrett reached a turning point when she was pulled over by the police three times in one week because she was rushing. One of the officers pointed out that lots of people get into accidents because they\u2019re running late and driving too fast \u2014 and reminded her that she had \u201cprecious cargo\u201d in her minivan. Like Volk and Christi, many of us are chronically late \u2014 to work, to dentist and hair appointments, to birthday parties and to anything else with a start time. This tardiness can be explained by a number of factors, including specific personality traits and a lack of time management skills, experts say. Often, it\u2019s caused by attention-deficit\/hyperactivity disorder, which is characterized by traits such as inattention and impulsivity.<\/p>\n

\"Chronic
Chronic lateness is costly<\/em><\/figcaption><\/figure>\n

Chronic lateness is \u201cextremely common among people with ADHD \u2014 more of them have it than not,\u201d says Mary Solanto, a professor of pediatrics and psychiatry at Hofstra Northwell School of Medicine in Long Island. Those with ADHD who don\u2019t struggle with chronic lateness typically did in the past but \u201cwere able to come up with ways to overcome it,\u201d she says. \u201cIt\u2019s a very big problem: People have been fired because they\u2019re chronically late. It has significant consequences.\u201d<\/p>\n

In general, people with ADHD don\u2019t have a good sense of time, says Solanto, who developed a popular cognitive-behavioral intervention program for adults with ADHD. \u201cThey tend to fly by the seat of their pants and do things spontaneously, and they don\u2019t plan for many things.\u201d<\/p>\n

Beyond people with ADHD, there are a handful of personality types more likely than others to be late, theorizes Linda Sapadin, a clinical psychologist in New York:<\/p>\n

\u25cf The perfectionist, who might fuss over her hair or the font size on her work presentation, determined to get it right even at the cost of being late.<\/p>\n

\u25cf The crisis-maker, who \u201cneeds an adrenaline rush to get going.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u25cf The dreamer, who \u201cdoesn\u2019t pay enough attention to detail.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u25cf The pleaser, who says yes to everyone.<\/p>\n

\u25cf The defier, who rebels against expectations.<\/p>\n

Fortunately, there are ways to overcome chronic lateness, whether you have ADHD or simply struggle to prioritize punctuality. Here are experts\u2019 favorite strategies:<\/p>\n

Figure out exactly how long it will take to get somewhere, then build in extra time. People often underestimate the amount of time it will take to reach their destination, says Ellen Hendriksen, a clinical psychologist based in Massachusetts. You might assume it will take 20 minutes to drive to the movie theater \u2014 but that\u2019s not accounting for traffic, finding a parking spot, walking to the entrance, standing in line to buy a ticket (or snacks), finding the right theater and then settling into your seat. Go ahead and check Google Maps for an estimate on travel time, but don\u2019t overlook all those transition activities.<\/p>\n

\"Plan
Plan to arrive ahead of schedule<\/em><\/figcaption><\/figure>\n

And don\u2019t plan to arrive right on time \u2014 say, 7 p.m. if that\u2019s when the dance recital starts. \u201cThat literally gives you a one-minute window in which to be on time,\u201d Hendriksen says. \u201cAnd then anything after that, you\u2019re late. If you aim to be 10 minutes early, now you have a 10-minute window in which you can be on time.\u201d<\/p>\n

Surround yourself with clocks. \u201cWe\u2019re all familiar with digital clocks, but analog clocks \u2014 the ones with faces \u2014 give you a different visual cue, and you can actually see the passing of time,\u201d says Rashelle Isip, a New York-based time management coach. Prominently display clocks everywhere you spend time, she suggests, including your living room and office. And even if you always have the time in your pocket \u2014 on your phone, that is \u2014 don\u2019t discount a \u201cgood old-fashioned wristwatch.\u201d Wearing one can help you get in the habit of checking the time and ensuring your day is proceeding according to schedule, Isip says.<\/p>\n

Set lots of alarms. This is one of Solanto\u2019s favorite tips for people with ADHD, but she notes that it can be useful for anyone who struggles with punctuality. \u201cSet one for the time you have to start getting ready to leave and one for when you actually have to leave the house,\u201d she says. Set another alarm for whatever time your appointment starts. These frequent audible reminders can help get your attention if you\u2019ve lost track of time.<\/p>\n

Create artificial deadlines. If you\u2019re what Sapadin describes as a \u201ccrisis-maker,\u201d you crave the thrill of a tight deadline. So set an extra early deadline for yourself: If you absolutely have to be out of the house at 7 p.m., tell yourself you\u2019ll leave by 6:30, or else. \u201cYou\u2019re fooling yourself, but we do lots of things to fool ourselves, and it works,\u201d she says.<\/p>\n

\"Don\u2019t
Don\u2019t start an activity before a pressing event<\/em><\/figcaption><\/figure>\n

Don\u2019t start an enjoyable \u2014 or important \u2014 activity before a pressing event. Solanto advises not diving into your favorite video game, or even beginning to tackle a work task, in the hour or so leading up to your intended departure time. \u201cPutting the brakes on\u201d is challenging, especially for people with ADHD, she says. It wouldn\u2019t be surprising if you were still engrossed in the activity hours past the time you were supposed to leave.<\/p>\n

Plan what you\u2019ll do if you\u2019re early. \u201cWaiting is really anathema for people with ADHD,\u201d Solanto says, and many prefer to be late than to wind up with time to kill. The solution? Bring something you\u2019ll enjoy, like a magazine you don\u2019t get to read often or a special game you downloaded on your smartphone. That can make the waiting time more palatable, she says. (This can also serve Sapadin\u2019s perfectionist well \u2014 having something to look forward to can be reason enough to, for example, head out rather than finishing up \u201cone more thing\u201d at home.)<\/p>\n

Envision how you\u2019ll feel if you\u2019re late. When an alarm goes off, signaling that it\u2019s time to start getting ready, imagine what it will be like if you\u2019re late to your appointment. As Solanto puts it: \u201cHow is the other person going to feel? How is the employer going to feel, or the teacher? How are you going to feel walking in late, especially when there\u2019s a group involved?\u201d Transporting yourself to that moment, and imagining the consequences of being late in visceral detail, can be very motivating.<\/p>\n

Bonus tip: If you\u2019re punctual but dealing with a person who\u2019s chronically late, address the tardiness in a one-on-one conversation. \u201cTry to understand where they\u2019re coming from and what challenges they might be facing,\u201d Isip says, and talk about how you can best provide support. For example, if you\u2019re about to go on a road trip together and need to leave at 10:30 a.m., plan to check in with each other around 10. \u201cYou can see how things are going,\u201d Isip says, and ensure that preparations are proceeding on time. And be patient: \u201cLike anything else, we can\u2019t expect people to change right away or on a dime.\u201d<\/p>\n

==\u00a0 Angela Haupt\u00a0 ==<\/strong><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

My friend Volk spent years operating on EST: Elise Standard Time. Her close friends and family knew that meant she would always be 15 minutes late. \u201cI didn\u2019t like it, […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":751,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_eb_attr":"","site-sidebar-layout":"default","site-content-layout":"","ast-site-content-layout":"default","site-content-style":"default","site-sidebar-style":"default","ast-global-header-display":"","ast-banner-title-visibility":"","ast-main-header-display":"","ast-hfb-above-header-display":"","ast-hfb-below-header-display":"","ast-hfb-mobile-header-display":"","site-post-title":"","ast-breadcrumbs-content":"","ast-featured-img":"","footer-sml-layout":"","ast-disable-related-posts":"","theme-transparent-header-meta":"default","adv-header-id-meta":"","stick-header-meta":"","header-above-stick-meta":"","header-main-stick-meta":"","header-below-stick-meta":"","astra-migrate-meta-layouts":"set","ast-page-background-enabled":"default","ast-page-background-meta":{"desktop":{"background-color":"","background-image":"","background-repeat":"repeat","background-position":"center center","background-size":"auto","background-attachment":"scroll","background-type":"","background-media":"","overlay-type":"","overlay-color":"","overlay-opacity":"","overlay-gradient":""},"tablet":{"background-color":"","background-image":"","background-repeat":"repeat","background-position":"center center","background-size":"auto","background-attachment":"scroll","background-type":"","background-media":"","overlay-type":"","overlay-color":"","overlay-opacity":"","overlay-gradient":""},"mobile":{"background-color":"","background-image":"","background-repeat":"repeat","background-position":"center center","background-size":"auto","background-attachment":"scroll","background-type":"","background-media":"","overlay-type":"","overlay-color":"","overlay-opacity":"","overlay-gradient":""}},"ast-content-background-meta":{"desktop":{"background-color":"var(--ast-global-color-5)","background-image":"","background-repeat":"repeat","background-position":"center center","background-size":"auto","background-attachment":"scroll","background-type":"","background-media":"","overlay-type":"","overlay-color":"","overlay-opacity":"","overlay-gradient":""},"tablet":{"background-color":"var(--ast-global-color-5)","background-image":"","background-repeat":"repeat","background-position":"center center","background-size":"auto","background-attachment":"scroll","background-type":"","background-media":"","overlay-type":"","overlay-color":"","overlay-opacity":"","overlay-gradient":""},"mobile":{"background-color":"var(--ast-global-color-5)","background-image":"","background-repeat":"repeat","background-position":"center center","background-size":"auto","background-attachment":"scroll","background-type":"","background-media":"","overlay-type":"","overlay-color":"","overlay-opacity":"","overlay-gradient":""}},"_EventAllDay":false,"_EventTimezone":"","_EventStartDate":"","_EventEndDate":"","_EventStartDateUTC":"","_EventEndDateUTC":"","_EventShowMap":false,"_EventShowMapLink":false,"_EventURL":"","_EventCost":"","_EventCostDescription":"","_EventCurrencySymbol":"","_EventCurrencyCode":"","_EventCurrencyPosition":"","_EventDateTimeSeparator":"","_EventTimeRangeSeparator":"","_EventOrganizerID":[],"_EventVenueID":[],"_OrganizerEmail":"","_OrganizerPhone":"","_OrganizerWebsite":"","_VenueAddress":"","_VenueCity":"","_VenueCountry":"","_VenueProvince":"","_VenueState":"","_VenueZip":"","_VenuePhone":"","_VenueURL":"","_VenueStateProvince":"","_VenueLat":"","_VenueLng":"","_VenueShowMap":false,"_VenueShowMapLink":false,"footnotes":""},"categories":[1],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-758","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-uncategorized"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/d2fpc.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/758","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/d2fpc.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/d2fpc.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/d2fpc.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/d2fpc.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=758"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/d2fpc.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/758\/revisions"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/d2fpc.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/media\/751"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/d2fpc.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=758"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/d2fpc.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=758"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/d2fpc.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=758"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}