Employees are not your children and better choices result from shared objectives and an employee buy-in rather than the employer’s imposition of will.
Leadership is less about a position and more about an attitude. We should not be confused by titles like Manager, Director, CEOs and take it synonymous with leadership . To be truly accepted by your team on that title you need to act that role. But you need to be real as you cannot just act and not believe in what you say or do. So how can one develop as a real leader? This could be done in many ways but one simple way is to take lessons from your personal life as parents and starting applying the same in your professional life.
As a father, I have been blessed with parenthood like many others. As parents we are not always perfect and do make mistakes. Same goes for leadership. There will be mistakes. However, to be a good parent and a good leader will require some common traits. So if you will act as a good parent and apply the same traits in work, most likely you would end up being considered a good leader. Just like as parents where we raise our kids, as true leaders we raise our employees. We develop and grow them under a responsibility to take on future challenges.
Here is my list of ten elements that overlap in my belief in parenthood and leadership:
- Honesty / Integrity / Ethics
As parents, our most important aspect of the relationship with kids is ‘honesty’. You never lie to your kids (except for ‘rephrasing’ or not saying something that can hurt them emotionally). Kids love parents because of the purity and honesty of the relationship. They also look up to them for ethical standards. You don’t want to swear or fight in front of your kids. You don’t cross a red light or throw garbage in front of them. You show your best side to gain respect in their eyes and transfer a good value system to them. As good leaders, you must come across as an honest person with high integrity. This is the starting point of gaining respect. You cannot expect people to respect or follow someone who comes across as a dishonest person. You cannot be a leader by following unfair, unethical practices. - Trustworthy & Supportive
For kids, parents are the most trustworthy persons. They can confide anything with them. They can trust them with their challenges, their problems, their issues, their fears and their insecurities. Good leaders build a trust bond around them. They are trusted fully that they will do the best for the company, employees and business partners. There will be good time and there will be bad. Good leaders are characters for all seasons. - Relationship Adaptability & Flexibility
As parents, we try to understand the different psychologies of our kids and treat each one according to us his or her own specific personality. Good parenthood is never about one treatment for all. It is also not about equality among kids at all times. Everything is always situational where you give more, less or equal depending on the specific situation. Same applies to good leadership. As good leaders, you need to understand and analyze different personalities around you and treat them accordingly in a specific customized manner. Good leaders are more like water than ice. They are fluid. - Courage
Kids are bound to have fears and insecurities. They seek courage and the strongest pillar of courage for them are their parents. Courage to face an issue or situation, to help them take a decision or even the courage to watch a horror movie in the dark! Good leader, like parents, have to be perceived as courageous and brave. They must exhibit courage to face a challenge, to take a decision, to resolve a conflict. They should be brave around their convictions, values and principles to take a stand even standing alone at times. There is no respect for cowards either in business or in life. Good leaders not necessarily have to be beautiful but they must be bold. - Fun loving
Parenthood makes you an entertainer! You learn to creatively entertain your kids. You play with them, joke with them, make them laugh, take them out etc. You want them to be happy and motivated to take on the challenges of life. You bring your funny bones in action when you see them down. Good leaders do exactly the same. They make a work environment of fun for the employees to give the best of output. Good leaders don’t believe in seriousness at work place but seriousness of work. They believe in work place atmosphere to be relaxed and fun so that mind and body is properly applied to deliver the desired results. Good leaders exhibit a great sense of humor and also uses it as a tool to handle tense situations.
- Responsible
When you Google the meaning of word parenthood, it comes as the state of being a parent and the responsibilities involved. The core word is responsibilities. You cannot be a good parent if you don’t fulfill your responsibilities as a parent. The ‘job description’ of a parent is always evolving, increasing with same title and perks for most of the life. But you have to keep delivering. Good leaders are highly responsible. Responsible about work, discipline, people, society etc. They don’t shy away from taking responsibility of taking challenges or owning actions. For true leaders, taking responsibility is part of their responsibility. - Firmness & Fairness
Parenthood requires firmness and fairness to develop balanced personalities. Sometimes tough talk, decisions or actions are required for a solution and as parents we take it. Good leaders do the same thing. They are firm but fair. If the situation demands tough talk, decision or action, they will not shy away to make a firm statement. But the way and manner they act always comes across as an overall fair action under the circumstances. - Futuristic & Visionary
As parents you are the ones supposed to plan ahead. Whether it is future family security in terms of investment, planning a holiday guiding towards a career, as parents we have to provide that vision. Leaders do the same. They plan ahead, foresee issues and challenges, readjust the present to prepare for future. - Decision Makers & Problem solver
Parenthood naturally teaches you decision making because your kids look up to you to solve a problem. To solve it, you decide a course. Although you decide everything for them with good intent, at times it could end up as the right decision or the wrong. Irrespective of the outcome, decision making takes place. Good leaders like good parents are excellent problem solvers because of their ability to take decisions. - Emotional & Passionate
I kept this point for the end because I find it most interesting and possibly controversial whether to keep in this list for the word ‘emotional’. The coolest of personalities are expected to be emotional when it relates to their kids so as parents you cannot rule out this word completely. Good leaders are also emotional or, to comfort those who do not want to related to this word, passionate people. Passionate about their work, their performance, their people and their contributions. Like parents, good leaders are visual to show their emotions of anger, happiness concern or care to make a point.